When a mother, its not just a 'mother'...

Dear Readers,

Its been a while for me being a silent reader for this endless topic..
A working mom.. is it an option or a choice? or Neither one of them?

Let see it from different angles, ladies..

First of all, being a mother.. is not easy..
Its far from being easy.. It carries big responsibilities, from the day you are carrying the fetus inside.
Things change... Priorities change... even the person change...

For working mom, its even worse.. Time management is essential.. so much until sometimes, you forget to have time for yourself.. You forget the fact that you are having a -centre of your universe to be- in which make you even a lot more special than before.. So, having this Gift from God, means that you have to treat yourself better than before..  

For some of you, working is more than just to have your self esteem.. it is more than that.. you might need to make your living.. maybe, your spouse just didnt make it enough for you to reach a proper lifestyle. I have to stay proper, since the standard is different for every house. Or, you might have set your own goal in life.. and you need to work harder to achieve it... as i mentioned, not everyone has a privilege to be a stay-at-home mom.. 

Some might able to say.. Well you can try to work from home as free consultant, member of Multi Level Marketing, having an online shop, and the list are adding up... 

But, its not easy as well..              

Let me tell you something, Parenting is not something that you pick up from nowhere.. It is earn.. its an option as well.. Being a mother is always a full-time job.. doesnt really matter whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom. You are still a mother whether you are there or not.. There are advantages and disadvantages for every position you are in..  Quality of parenting is not a relative measure.. It doesnt mean when you are growing up with a working-mom, you'll be worse than the other who grow-up with a stay-at-home mom, just because there are more constraints of time. 

I dont know about you, but for me, living in a male-dominated-world,I always believe that there are risk that you take for everything. So, whether you are a working-mom or stay-at-home mom, both are highly respected career. I must say, HIGHLY RESPECTED, as not everyone is gifted to experience as a mother. And there are no such standard, on how you can be called as a good mother.. this is for real.. 

All of us, are trying hard to raise them rite, according to our standard. 
That is why, we have to choose, we have to decide, we have to try harder on how to work things out.. Sometimes, we even have sacrifices to reach our goal, and none of us really care about it. Because as a mother, we all have the same purpose.. to bring our children, raise them well enough, set them ready to face the world.. 

My writings will not be judgmental, on whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom. Both are moms, and none of us have the rights to make any negative comments about it.. I mean it.. 

Seriously.. i think we should stand together, hand-in-hand, realizing that we, mothers of the next generation have the same purpose, to raise them well, so they can create a better world.. 

I believe that we already got headache with lots of things, and we shouldnt add some more in our head... 

Stop judging, help others when you are able to do so.. After all, we are have the same purpose, rite... Why should be make a fuss in a little things and forgetting the bigger picture? 

Its not easy being a working mom (trust me, i am a working mom.. ); and I know that being a stay-at-home mom, is not easy as well.. 

So, i respect both, and i hope everyone else do too.. 


Nitey-nitey, everyone.. 

#written as part of my concern of an endless silly discussions
18 jan 2015






                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

The bosses - some (not too) short stories...

Dear Readers,

Setelah beberapa postingan mengharu biru tentang departures and departures, yang mana hal itu masih berlanjut sampai sekarang... #hikz...

Tapi sekarang.... ijinkan saya mengupas beberapa orang yang untuk saya masuk dalam urutan - The Bosses.. Yes, the bosses, alias para atasan..

Tentu saja, sejalan waktu, saya tidak bisa memuat semuanya.. to be frank.. Those who meant a lot to me, in a way that even though i am no longer work with them, they cross my mind from time to time..

Well, let me start from the beginning :

1. RR Graham

He is my direct Supervisor who happens to be Head of Virology Department at US NAMRU - 2 .
Iya,.. diawal karir, emang saya kerja di US NAMRU (Naval Medical Research Unit), iya.. yang sekarang dibekukan itu lho.. (abaikan sinisme saya.. ) It might be because i love that place so much..more that any other can understand.. dan jangan berani pertanyakan nasionalisme saya ya.. :) .. as None has the rights to do so..

Well, kembali ke bahasan awal. Dr G, begitu panggilan sayang saya ke beliau.. He is the first boss who taught me that you have to fight on what you believe.. that skills are earns, as its never given...
Sebagai anak bawang.. saya memulai dari awal banget.. as I start as a data entry..

Iya, saya, yang lulusan D1 jurusan Public Relation, tetiba harus kutak katik data.. well.. data base - dan pada waktu itu program yang digunakan adalah Paradox.. sementara, pengetahuan komputer saya ya basic banget...

And, you wont believe what he did - He brought me like a pile of books - all in English.. Remember that at that time i was just 18 years old.. with my basic ability to speak, read and write in English :D ..
And of course, as always, I am a fighter.. I bought my dictionaries, read more, read the manual of the program, spend at least 9 hours a day .. and I did it..

At the beginning, I express my concern to him... how i found some difficulties in doing the task he gave me, but again he said... skills... are earn.. even if you have to struggle to understand.. spend extra hours, just do it..

Dan saya nunut apa kata babe itu.. ketimbang kualat #eh ...
Maksudnya.. ya emang bener sih yang diomong...

Ok - to cut the story short, i managed to follow his instruction, doing this and that.. wes opo ae dikerja'ke.. sing penting halal dannnn... Stay with him for 1,5 years...  During my tenure, he took me to assist DB projects in Yogya.. and to be frank.. until now.. its uncomparable..

Spending two weeks on your own.. while you are single in Jogja is really irreplaceable... disitu saya beneran jatuh cinta sama jogja.... Its like i belong to that place..  (now im back to years ago... :) ..)

So, we are moving on to my 2nd boss - one of the my most fave men on earth..

2. His name is Torstein Hallaraker.. Yes, he is scandinavian, the Vikings - came from Norway or more exact place..

I was introduced to him by my colleagues at N2. He need to have a Junior Secretary in his humble office. Funny things, when i first met him, i can see how a sincere person he is. The look, the attitude even the way he speaks all represent goodness in a person...

I know that it seems that i worship him.. Well, its not that.. far from that.. Its like im pretty amazed on the trust that he gave to me.. a young, nobody, very junior person.... and i appreciate it.

He taught me how to be me.. he put a strong foundation, along with some other people..
He shows integrity and how to be a real person.. never fake never took parts in bad things, and what i amazed is how he shows his tolerance with other people from many nationalities. He taught me from drafting a letter, conducting meetings until how to do "basa-basi" in some luncheon... He introduced me to high level personnels, bring me to important meetings... and he taught me how to be me.. how to be a sincere person.. and lots of things which are beyond words.

Back in 98, he actually plan to resign from his post in Indonesia. Well, in 1998, you know how hot Jakarta was..

So in May 98, where riots start in Jakarta, i was fled (yess, im using the hard word) to his place in Kemang.. where he shares the town house with my ex colleague from N-2.. Where my ex colleagues lend me some clothes and money as well - just to ensure that i have enough supply... I cant express how i felt with words , considering whats going on that time.

To cut the story short, we keep our relationship as it is until now. Last time i met him was in Surabaya, 10 years ago... (how time flies), where he look exactly like last time before i met him....
Still firm when i shake his hand,  and last news is that he is still conducting some training in Surabaya..

The third boss that gave good impact to me is my previous Director Hans Glipman. After Tor's departure, and having so many people coming in and out as my boss, apparently he's the first person i encounter whom i can speak freely, and off course in a good manner too.

He start his tenure in late 2010 and left at a sudden, early May last year. His departure is surely miss.. He is the one who introduce us how to do things in mannered..  If i may say, not that the rest didnt have manner, but he surely has given good example, ensure that everyone respect each other, even teach some high levels how to communicate effectively, and off course in a good mannered...

I found him a good leader, in a way that he can be quite firm yet, also very easy to be understood - in which i found with TH before. It is so funny how i can easily knock on his door, and even call him before he call me, from time to time. So, when some people are questioning about our relationship, its purely friendship and colleagues... And i enjoy it a lot..

To be frank, being straight spoken, a real me,  can only be practiced to both Tor and him.. he offers solution where we all in a cul-de-sac, where most bosses are saving their own asses... (thank goodness i've never encountered one like that - not my direct boss)... I enjoy friendly gestures, sincere greetings, even just sharing cookies or chocolate bars... And, im not the only one who have such a courtesy... We both believe, that is how you create a healthy work environment.. Its how you do things - hand in hand... when one problem arise, solve it, dont put it too long in a tray, dont upset the applecart, and try to speak in a very positive tone, so your counterpart will be very convenient when communicating with you..

Well, my last but not least boss is an Indonesian.. BTS - thats his nickname.. and he really is, one of his kind... SERIOUSLY..

I've never met someone with such strong, positive attitude.. Not to mentioned he is a modern muslim too.. i must say, i've never admire anyone in such way like him..

Why?

He always be able to see things clearly.. not that close, but even from the distance, he will not only use the logic, but try to see the person thoroughly..

When dealing with female employees, he was very careful, and deal with us in a very high manner, full of consideration, as he sees us as a mother, a wife and a woman in Islam, where he put as as priorities.. See the best solution according qur'an and sunnah.. even sending me inspiring morning messages...

For him, i am speechless.. He is a good colleagues, and funny boss too.. why funny? he does most of admin work which he suppose to give us.. and Now i know why he comes home aft 9 pm, most of the time.. to cover all works that he suppose to share.. #sigh..

From him, I learn less in the corporate side, but i learn how to live in a good way.. how to treat others in goodness, to think positively - all the time, again,... to be firm but managed to deliver it in such an elegant way.. He speaks very little, laugh and smile a lot.. and how you maintain a good relation to your creator,,,

The point is.. i learn a lot... the main thing that i learn from all of my dear bosses is..

Do good, not because you want to, but you need to...
they all taught me that, in a bottomline..


Well, finally i finish it..
I finally able to list down the top 4 that make me realize,, that life is full of blessings,
That no matter what, you have to do good, not because you want to, but you need to,,,
That at the end of the day, its not only the result that counts.. but process too..
That we are all, important..

Thank you for reading, everyone...
May you all have a good and nice evening..

-jatisari, 15 Jan 2015-

for all my dear bosses,
May life treats you kind,
May god give you all his blessings
May God fills you with joy and happiness, all the time..
Aamiin yaa rabbal aalamiin..