Departure.. Such an unpleasant event..

Dear Readers,

As you might can see from the title.. a departure of a good colleagues, breaks my heart.. 

And again.. this is my dear boss.. 

I know.. this might have been the 3rd times in just 2 years.. 

Yesss.. this is the man, ,who taught me so much in such a little time.. 

More that years i spent with other superiors.. 

He had me from hello.. simple conversation, into endless discussion and shocking assignment.. 

He laughed to all my silly jokes and little secrets we share.. 

Reading each other gestures without saying words, which most of the time, end with laughters.. 

Arguing about lots of things.. from office matters into which color that fit to man or woman (yeah, i know.. sometimes things like that happens )

What relieve me.. is knowing how relieve he is for the decision he made.. 

What relieve me.. is knowing that he'll still be around.. 

What relieve me.. is the happiness i can see from his eyes that look tired days before.. 

At the end.. i shall not say Good Bye.. 

As good bye means go away.. and it means forgetting.. 

I shall say " May our path cross and till we meet again".. 

All the best, pak.. 

Thank you for being part of our journey.. 

We believe, that life will always treat you well.. 

Aamiin.. 

Slipi, 30th Dec 2015

A small house (not) in a prairie...

Dear Readers, ...

Beberapa waktu yang lalu, saya iseng browsing foto-foto sepupu saya... dan menemukan gambar diatas ini,.. iya ini adalah pondok mungil milik alm eyang putri.. yang saat ini sudah bukan lagi menjadi milik kami..

Rumah mungil milik alm eyang ini terletak beberapa meter dari pasar Cimacan, Cipanas Puncak.. dan tepat berada di depan SD Negeri Cimacan . Terdiri dari 2 kamar, dan halaman depan yang cukup untuk membuat saya bisa mengenali perbedaan antara frambozen, murbei dan strawberry.. Juga tempat saya mengenali perbedaan antara kadal dan bunglon (dan fakta bahwa hampir pingsan ketika tiba2 mereka loncat kearah saya :s ) tanaman2 perdu yang cantik-cantik.. dan finally.. fakta bahwa pengetahuan saya akan aneka hewan dan tumbuhan sangat terbatas. :) (well.. im a city girl, what else shall i say? .. )

Disini, tertoreh banyak kisah menyenangkan, tanpa ada sekelumit duka di dalamnya..

Tempat saya menghabiskan libur sekolah dengan alm eyang putri.. belajar hiking pertama kali ke Cibodas.. sampai kali pertama paham bahwa ada hal-hal diluar nalar yang terjadi di dunia..

Teras depan adalah tempat saya berbagi secangkir kopi susu dengan alm papa, dan beberapa teman masa kecil .. menghabiskan malam sambil bercerita tanpa akhir, ditemani petikan gitar, canda tawa yang  tak berakhir.. sampai pagi menjelang..  Tempat para pendahulu saya berbagi pengalaman, diselingi kalimat-kalimat tuah dan selalu diakhiri oleh alhamdulillah..

Rumah ini, memang mungkin hanya terlihat laiknya little house (not) in a prairie.. tapi buat saya dan banyak sepupu saya.. Setiap sudut punya cerita yang berbeda..  Sejarah tertoreh disana.. bukan hal yang menyedihkan.. tapi rasanya.. hanya melihat foto nya saja.. masih terngiang rasanya di telinga saya.. sapaan pagi mang ali - yang sop sapi buatannya jadi favorit saya dan alm eyang putri setiap pagi.. atau harum pepes buatan bu haji yang melegenda di keluarga kami.. Wangi teh melati segar seduhan alm eyang dan pisang goreng maupun kudapan kecil lainnya yang entah kenapa mengingatkan saya akan banyak hal...

Mengigatkan saya, bahwa hidup memang hanya untuk bersandar padaNya.. Melihat kesungguhan para petani,peladang, maupun pedagang di pasar yang tak seberapa besar bersungguh-sunguh dalam melakukan pekerjaannya.. Melihat mereka bersyukur, dan menyambut pagi dengan gembira.. lalu pulang ke rumah menjelang senja, dan masih dalam raut penuh suka..

Dulu, tentu hal demikian tidak pernah sedikitpun terlintas.. tapi sekarang? betapa hal yang sedemikian terlihat sepele ternyata memang penuh makna . Dan kadang.. kita memang tidak butuh mengerti.. tapi menerima tanpa banyak tanya..

Dan laiknya mentari terbit dan tenggelam.. rumah yang dulu pernah menjadi persinggahan kami.. saat ini memang telah berpindah kepemilikannya.. Membawa jutaan cerita dibalik rentetan peristiwa.. bagi kami, yang pernah singgah disana..  Pada akhirnya, hal-hal yang tersisa memang hanya tumpukan cerita tanpa tepi penuh makna..

That little house is gone.. but the memories remain.. :)

- jatiasih, desember 2015-

Are we bound with memories?

Pagi ini,
Saya di beri kesempatan untuk menyusuri jalan-jalan.. yang telah belasan kali saya lalui.. dan belasan tahun tidak pernah saya kunjungi..

Hari ini saat mengantar putera bungsu saya mengikuti FESMI (festival tahfidz metode UMMI), yang bertempat di daerah Cihanjuang, Cimahi secara tak disengaja, mobil yang saya tumpangi melewati kawasan Komplek Siliwangi, Cimahi. Iya.. memang di kawasan inilah alm eyang kakung - adik laki-laki dari alm eyang putri saya pernah tinggal..

Mobil yang saya tumpangi, melewati tikungan Pura yang berjarak 2 rumah dari bekas rumah dinas beliau.. Hanya diujung jalan memang.. namun terlihat sekilas rumah yang dulu kerap saya kunjungi saat liburan.. Rumah bernomor D 10 ini memang memberikan banyak cerita kepada saya, banyak sepupu saya, bahkan juga sang mantan pacar yang jadi partner hidup saya - mas suami tersayang.. Rumah yang mengajarkan pada saya.. kalau 'fresh cloves" has the best smell , dan rumah yang selalu memberikan cerita tak lekang waktu pada kami..

Di rumah yang terakhir saya kunjungi beberapa waktu sebelum alm papap berpulang, semuanya terasa begitu menakjubkan bagi saya.. sungguhan..
Memang, bagi sebagian orang.. pemilihan kata 'menakjubkan' terdengar berlebihan.. but.. i mean it.. Saya jatuh cinta pada pola keramik lantainya.. Art deco kata sebagian orang.. langit-langitnya yang tinggi.. kamar mandinya yang luas.. sampai derap langkah yang biasa terdengar saat semua orang terlelap.. iya benar.. saat semua orang terlelap, kecuali saya yang berusaha mencari tau itu derap siapa, dan akhirnya memilih untuk memejamkan mata setelah lama-lama terbiasa mendengarnya.. Tempat saya mendengarkan kisah-kisah masa lalu alm eyang.. sampai banyaknya hal-hal absurd yang hanya dapat dipahami oleh ketajaman rasa yang terasah oleh waktu..

Di tempat yang sama, saya belajar menghargai kenangan, yang terukir dan dibesarkan oleh waktu. Menghargai sepotong ontbijtkoek hangat dengan secangkir teh melati, dan serangkai kisah tanpa akhir berbau cengkeh segar. Menikmati sepiring nasi goreng sosis buatan almh eyang, sambil menghafal beragam resep warisan Kel Banoe, .. dan berusaha sekeras mungkin maklum saat timbul perdebatan ketika diskusi, mengesampingkan seluruh friksi dan menerima perbedaan pandangan tanpa gugatan, dalam sesuatu forum yang kemudian saya panggil dengan nama "KELUARGA"..

Menyusuri jalan, melewati deretan gedung-gedung kuno, menunjukkan banyak hal kepada putera saya.. menceritakan betapa bahagia masa kecil saya, yang punya banyak keluarga dengan ragam pemahaman berbeda.. Membukakan wawasan baru padanya.. bahwa.. cinta kasih itu yang mendekatkan kita.. sampai tiba-tiba saya teringat.. saya memang terkadang sangat terikat dengan banyak kenangan.. Im so into it.. without exceptions.. Saat menuliskan notes ini pun.. rasanya memang tak hanya sekedar kenangan.. tapi juga torehan yang tertinggal di lembar kehidupan saya..

Hmm..

Lahul fatihah untuk kalian semua, Papap, Eyang -eyang tersayang.. dan bude.. .

Perjalanan ke daerah Bandung.. memang selalu mengingatkanku akan kalian.. Saya percaya, Gusti Allah pasti memberikan kalian tempat yang lebih indah.. dari yang pernah saya jalani dengan kalian.. aamiin YRA

Mie Schotel Istimewa.. - a comfort food for the children

Dear Readers,

Mungkin faktor cuaca, mungkin anak-anak terlalu lelah.. atau ibun yang kurang perhatian :|..

Tapi, semalam, anak-anak mendadak demam dan batuk-batuk.. dan benar saja, diagnosa dokter.. adalah Radang tenggorokan... Berhubung hal ini juga membuat mereka kesulitan menelan.. maka salah satu comfort food yang membuat mereka nyaman menelan.. ya .. Mie Schotel kukus..

Sengaja saya buat versi kukus yang memang lebih lembut ketimbang versi panggang ..
Versi saya seperti berikut : '

Mie Schotel Istimewa

Bahan-bahan :

1. Bungkus mie telur  - direbus al dente
2 sdm margarine, yang segera saya aduk dengan mie setelah ditiriskan
3 butir telur  - kocok lepas
250 ml susu cair
50 gr keju parut
4 slice keju lembaran
100 gr daging cincang
1 batang wortel - diparut halus
100 gr jamur kancing atau merang - diiris tipis
2 batang daun bawang - diiris halus
3 siung bawang merah
2 siung bawang putih
1 sdt kaldu ayam nie
gula garam dan lada sesuai selera
1sdm margarine dicirkan dengan 1/2 cup air dan dicmpur dalam kocokan tlur..

Cara membuat:

1. Panaskan 1 sdm minyak, masukkan 2 sdm margarin
2. Tumis bawang merah, bawang putih sampai harum, tambahkan daging cincang, diikuti wortel, jamur dan daun bawang..
3. Tambahkan gaaram, gula dan lada
4. rebus mie sampai al dente, tiriskan, campur dengan 2 sdm margarine . Biarkan agar menghangat..
5. Campur bahan isian dengan mie.. lalu tambahkan keju dan separuh campuran susu, telur, serta larutan maizena tadi, tak lupa tambahkan gula, lada, garam dan kaldu ayam ... pastikan rasanya pas..
6. Tuang pada loyang yang sudah disemir margarine
7. letakkan keju slice.. siram dengan sisa campuran susu/telur/maizena. Tutup dengan alumunium foil
8. Kukus kurang lebih 45 menit..
9. Ready to serve :) ..


Some may say that this is more than just a comfort food..
But its all it is to my children.. so.. Enjoy :D

GDP - an endless journey

Dear Readers..

This is one of the reason for my endless nights... discussions, headaches.. and SMILES...
Yes.. it was mix up feelings .. of lots of busy mind.. busy body.. and headaches..
Thousand of sorrow.. and millions of happiness.. as I finally complete half of the destinations..

Started on May.. when i have to start something new.. participating in a Job Fair in local university.. continue with another job fair in Jakarta.. continue with a free booth in Jogja.. the three brings me where i am now..

Days of endless discussion, twisting fingers and more are still on..
and i never regret doing so..

It is my first time, and surely wont be the last..

Its not a proper appreciation that i expect.. but the process and the smile those candidates put on their face that relief me.. it is their hope of getting a better future.. that just gave me some spirits to go on and on..
It is the good will .. as i set aside my ego and negative expression the witch gave me..

At the end.. with or without the witch.. show will go on.. if its not for the team.. the journey might have not started.. So.. for the betterment of those talented youngsters.. lets moving on.. keep going..

All the pain, tears, headaches and sweats will be paid at once..
And im so positive.. that Gusti Allah is with me all the way.. :)... So i should have nothing to worry..

Soon it will start.. and the journey continuous..
Bismillah.. hope it will all go well..


*bekasi, 25 oct 2015

Ketan Durian, A guilty yet a lovely dish.. :D

Hello there..

Ah yess.. for those durian lovers, i bet you know what i meant by taking the above title..
Durian.. is always a guilty pleasure :)..  high in calorie and fat.. not suitable for those who are having high cholesterol and blood pressure..

Anyway.. i will stop talking about how guilty it is.. and will get the recipe done..
These days, more people are talking about this famous "Ketan Durian Lumer".. Well.. I've never tried it before.. but Im assuming and take my friends testimonies on how it taste..

So, im trying to make mine..

This is it,..

Ingredients :

800 gr sticky rice - rinse well - soaked in water for an hour
500 gr of seedless durian
750 ml thick coconut milk - boiled and take 250 ml for the sticky rice
1 can of condensed milk
2 tbs custard powder
2 egg yolk
salt

How to execute :

1. Steam sticky rice for half and hour (after the water boiling) - set aside
2. In a big bowl, take the rice out, pour 250 of coconut milk - add 1tsp of salt - stir well till all the milk absorb.
3. Steam it for 40 minutes (im adding pandan leaves in the bottom of steamer)
4. warm the coconut milk - add condensed milk.. stir well
5. Add durian - stir well till
6. get half cup of water - mix with custard powder and egg yolk
7. When its boiling, add custard and egg yolk.. do it by adding the hot milk, stir well and pour it to the hot solvent back.
8. When it start to boiled, turn off the stove, set aside.
9. Take a pyrex - put sticky rice as based, and pour the durian on top.. Let it cool, and ready to serve..

Well.. simple, isnt it?
Try it, and dont be sorry for eating it.. #heaven..

Hope you like it as my hubby does :)

Modesty Pizza - easy to make..

Well..

I must say, that having a 9-year-old-pre-teenage girl is fun..
Means that i have to be very creative in having an activity which involves both of us..
Besides sewing and singing, my daughter loves cooking..

So, i browse around, modifying some recipes.. and this is one of them..

Modesty Pizza -why modest? cause its very easy to make - hassle free and taste delicious as well.
The recipe is as follow :

Ingredients :
250 gr of multi purpose flour
1 sachet (11 gr) of instant yeast
2 tbs of oil (using vegetable oil)
1 full spoon of margarine
pinch of salt
2 tbs of sugar
1 tbs of milk

Sauce :
Mixing 2 tbs of tomato sauce - 1 tbs of mayonaise - 1 tbs chili sauce - pinch of mixed herbs
Toppings shall be on your preference - im having chicken sausages and corn.. for savoury
and banana - cheese for sweet pizza


How to make :

1. Prepare the yeast by mixing yeast, sugar, oil and 1 tbs of sugar into a bowl.. Pour half cup of warm water, stir well until its ready.. (its foamy when ready)
2. In bigger bowl - pour flour, instant milk, salt, sugar and yeast solvent.. Stir well, i add margarine and sugar. Mix well till it set. Set aside for 30 minutes, and cover the dough with wet kitchen towel.
3. Prepare the pan, get half of the dough - spread evenly. Pour the sauce mixture and add toppings
Do the same with sweet pizza, however, im not using any sauce for sweet pizza..But, i add some sugar before putting banana and covered it later with cheese
4. Turn on the stove - ensure you have proper heat . Takes around 10 minutes to make the cheese melt and the dough is ready. And yes, its ready to eat now.. :)

Enjoy your pizza, guyz.. Hope you find it as simple and easy as what i thought so..

Bitterballen Kriwul - part of my journey

What is your treat for this weekend? 

Ours is a hearthy bitterballen... Growing up with my grand mother who happens to be a dutch descendant give me an awkward habbit as a young girl.. 

Yes.. im very used to have an afternoon tea with tasty bites.. and most of them i can still picture in my mind ..nom nom.. 

One of my fave is bitterballen.. 

Most of us might have address it as 'kroket ragut'.. but let me tell you.. its not krokettjes... as it doesnt have potato dough.. instead we are having ragout as their basic ingredients.. 

Let me give you my recipe (i modify my mom's recipe) : 

Ingredients : 

300 gr multi-purpose flour 

150 gr margarine 

1 cloves garlic - finely ground 

2 cloves shallots - finely chopped 

200 ml milk

75 gr shredded cheddar 

75 gr minced meat of chicken -boil with 200 ml of water, season with 1 tsp of salt and 2 tbs of sugar 

pepper and nutmeg - seasoned well 

Solvent  

2 egg - beat well 

1 tbs of flour - mix with half cup of water 

1 cup panko flour for breaded 

How to make : 

1. Warm the margarine - sauted garlic and shallots till its fragrant.. add flour - stir well 

2. Add milk, minced meat and the broth and cheddar.. 

3. Seasoned well - add pepper, nutmeg (I add 2 tbs of sugar too ..) 

4. when the dough is set, turn off the stove - set aside

5. take 1 tbs - make a ball shape - do all at once 

6. Prepare the solvent before you bread the ball 

7. Dip the ball and roll it on the breaded flour - set aside

8. Put the breaded ballen into the fridge for at least 30 minutes.. 

9. Deep fried till its light brown and serve warm with mayo 

Hope you like it.. i love having it with a cup of fragrant rose tea :) 

Have a lovely afternoon friendtjes..

Satu hari di penghujung September

Satu hari di penghujung September...
Saat  hari-hari yang biasanya sudah dipenuhi rintik kecil gerimis maupun bau tanah selepas hujan.. Namun sampai saat ini masih dipenuhi kelembaban..

Kadang.. saya merasa kalau dunia ada di dalam genggaman..
Saat mendapati suami menatap penuh sayang,
Atau ketika terbangun dari tidur dan mendapati diri berada dalam pelukannya semalaman..

Kadang saya merasa bahwa Gusti Allah sangat bermurah hati dengan memberikan saya kelurga penuh cinta..
Iya .. sangat penuh cinta..
Ketika satu masalah selesai secepat masalah yang lain timbull.. dan semuanya dapat selesai dengan banyak pertimbangan.dan sejuta pelukan..

Kadang.. saya merasa lupa bersyukur.. atau bahkan terlena atas seluruh nikmat yang ada...
Saat terlalu memikirkan dunia..  #sigh..
Ketika terlewat memanjatkan doa untuk orang-orang terkasih yang sudah bersamaNya...
Atau tak paham ketika telah tiba saatnya untuk duduk diam dan berdoa..

Kadang saya merasa bawa sudah cukup berhak untuk bertanya padaNya..
atas seluruh rantaian peristiwa yang mengganggu rasa...

hmm..

Padahal.. apa yang sudah diberikanNya?
Sepasang buah hati yang sehat lahir batin.. dan alhamdulillah sampai saat ini tak henti membuat saya bersyukur atas mereka...
Imam yang sangat paham makmumnya.. berbesar hati atas seluruh kekurangan bidadarinya..
dan memaklumi atas seluruh khilaf yang tercipta.. bahkan mengambil alih saat saya salah jalan..

Gustii Allah..
ijinkan saya.. di satu hari di penghujung September ini.. untuk kembali bersujud syukur padamu..
berterima kasih atas seluruh rizki yang berlimpah..

Atas iman Islam..
Atas keluarga dan teman-teman.. yang shalih shaliha.. dan senantiasa mengingatkanku atas kodratMu..
Matur suwun sanget .. karena memberikan kami lingkungan yang memudahkan kami untuk senantiasa mengingatMu.. serta bersujud padaMu..
We never have enough of You..

Jagakan kami.. serta keturunan kami dari seluruhh kesusahan di dunia dan akhirat.. tumbuhkan iman Islam kami.. dekatkan ukhuwahh kami.. mudahkan kami untuk senantiasa dapat berdzikir padaMu, Gusti..
Mudahkan kami untuk berprasangka baik.. jauhkan kami dari sifat suudzonn dan riya..

Aamiin ya Rabbal Aalamiin...

Jatisari, 24 Sept 2015
inspire by hubby morning message - when he have to be on duty during Eid Adha..
Luv.. matur suwun atas seluruh jihadnya..
We love you .. even more than you know..

Easy-peasy Non bake Chese Cake

Hello everyone,

What a week .. Im trying to catch my breath while on the same time, trying my best to have a 'me-time' and quality time with kiddos as well..

Children loveess sweet things.. they have sweet tooth- just like me :) .. well, mine especially..
There have been times when they would like to have either pudding or ice cream of cheese cake.. and today - i decided to make a simple dessert - a comforting one - easy to make - non bake cheese cake.

The original recipe, of course was not mine.. But to tell you the truth, im taking a little of this and that from several recipes..

So, this is my recipe :

Easy-Peasy Non-Bake Cheese Cake

Bahan2 :

1 bks biscuit marie regal – roughly ground 

1 sachet skm putih

15 keping biscuit keju 

Bahan Cream cheese:

150 gr keju cheddar parut

1 bks susu dancow – dicairkan dengan 200 ml air

200 ml susu cair

6 sdm gula pasir

1 sdm munjung maizena – dicairkan dengan 2 sdm air

1 bks whip cream (saat ini pakai merk pondan)

240 ml caramel frappe instant (bisa diganti dengan susu cair atau air es)

Cara membuat :

11. Mix the roughly ground biscuit with melted margarine or butter ( i use 2 full tbs ) 

22. Make them as cake base - put them  in the fridge whilst you are making cheese melt 

33. Boil milk - add shredded cheddar and sugar. Let it boiled and add maize - turn the stove off , keep stirring until its warm. Put the chiz biscuit as another layer - put it back on the fridge. 

.   4. Next shall be whip cream. I am using one bottle of instant caramel frappe and mix it with vegetarian WC . Use a high-speed mixer  for 5 - 10 minutes till it set. Pour WC on top and let it freeze for another 30 minutes

   . And its ready to eat.. Have fuuunnnnn :) 

Macaroni Kukus - a hearty dish..

Dear Readers,

Rasanya dah lama banget gak turun gunung.. eh turun dapur :) ...
Setelah cek bahan-bahan di dapur.. i decided to make an easy peasy simple Macaroni Kukus..

Kedua pelangi hati kami sangat gemar macaroni.. sepertinya yang menyamai maconi ya hanya ragam mie-mie an..

Well,.. to cut the story short.. this is how to make an easy peasy simple dish :

Ingredients :

175 gram elbow macaroni - boiled al dente
1 big beef sausage (my ego, as i dont particularly like sausage :) .. )
150 ml plain milk
1 tbs salt
2 full tbs of cream sup - mix with 150 gr warm water, stir well ,
1 tbs of flour mix with 5 tbs water
3 eggs - lightly beaten
75 gr of shredded cheddar chese
salt and pepper to taste
1 tbs margarine

How to make :

1. Boil elbow macaroni till its al dente (more or less 10 min after the water boils) - rinse with cold water
2. Warm cream soup which already mix with water .. when its already turn into thick cream.. add the solution which consist of half cup of warm water mix with 1 tbs of multi purpose flour.. stir until it dissolve and blend. Add salt and pepper
3. Turn off the stove, keep stirring, add milk, and eggs.. - take half of it, mix with boiled macaroni..
4. Pour into the pan.. arrange the sausage and pour the rest of solution and sprinkle cheddar chese
5, Cover pan with aluminium foil - now steam it for around 30 minutes till it sets.

Have a hearty dish, everyone...

Work work work

Dear Readers, 

I know that its been a while for me getting spider web in this blog around...

Yes.. forgive my inability to do a good time management, as always.. 

Been here and there.. 

Works -- both in office and home took most of my times.. 

After getting a full time position at P&O - yess company prefer to call it that way, instead of the usual HR, in which im doing Recruitment for 3 company. The job coverage includes participating in Job Fairs and in addition to it I also learn to prepare Job Profile and Job Desc .. This is not including assistance given for several employee engagement projects and some bit and tat :)..

Well, its not that im complaining but, its quite time consuming.. even though im trying to catch up the bloody 10 years (maybe) :D ..
However, my awkward time management has caused some chaos in this and that.. if i may say.. and to be frank, nothing that i regret :)

At time being, i m processing a MT program - which has caused me some confusion and mixed up feelings. The office asked me to participate into job fairs - in which started since May and June in Jakarta and Mid August in Jogja.. My first experience and i really need to convince my self to do so.

It was three fine events even in Jogja when i have to travel by my self, carrying two laptops and one projector.. Got some supports from my besties and the organizer, i found the event was so fruitfull and managed to bring more CV as candidates..

Well.. there are some more stages that i have to go through.. would likely going back to Jogja end of this month.. .

I'll tell you the story later, guyz..

Wassalamualaikum..

Is it a Flaw? Or a blessing?

Dear readers,...

After a few serious postings - yess i labelled all work-about postings as "serious postings", now i will write about a few blessings i have in life...

I called it a blessing,while some people said, it is one of my biggest flaw..
Now, let me tell you why...

You all know how 'extrovert' i am .. i am open minded, laugh and smile a lot, straight talking.. and even though i can be super introvert in certain condition.. but.. it is easy to make friends with me. I have plenty of acquaintances,, lots of friends, and a few very very good friends.. (and yessss.. i am very picky when it comes to close friends.. )

and the blessing that i call is also one of my flaw.. it is when i care too much...
Yess, when i care too much..

At the beginning, i m  raised and  taught to care for others.. and i dont expect anything as a return. It is my habit to greet other people, starting from saying good morning, ask how are they doing, and smile to them too. For those who have met me, you all know that i really look like any other indonesian, so lots of people would feel that my face looks so familiar to them and i might remind them to any family members, friends, acquaintance or others. When we get quite close, most of the times they tell me their little secrets, one and another.. and to be frank, sometimes its a burden, but most of the time its a blessing for me.. an opportunity to look into things from different angle..

And again, i feel so blessed. However, sometimes in life, we cant make all people happy.. We cant expect others to see and understand what we do or what our intentions are...
We just cant, frankly...

In some cases i have put my limit, try to control what i feel, how I should behave, how I should react toward lots of things that doesnt seems to be right..
I have start another journey, which is not entirely me.. or correction - which is considered to be more what common - metropolis-people do..
I have try to do my utmost to become a stiff ignorant person, into things that i shouldnt put my hand into... Yes i have try to limit what i should have done long time ago..
Considering that it is one way for not upsetting the applecart..

I always think, if we can be good, why should we do bad?
It is so true that we cant save the entire universe, But, we have to try to do our utmost..
Yess.. i think i might have care too much..
Maybe... I think if i do good, it will return good...
And of course, the result will be good for others too..

But again, i dont know whether i can call it a blessing, a flaw or my plus point..
It all depends on what angle you are looking..
At the end of the day, its ours that count, isnt it..

well,, is it a flaw, or a blessing ?
You tell me.. :)

Role and Responsibilities - new chapter, new beginning...

Dear Readers, 

Its been  a while for me not posting something a bit serious... 
Yes... im trying hard to cope with my new role in the office. 

I finally got challenged.. remember my previous posting here, after his successor arrive, this new guy have decided to take me in to his team.   He gave me some new role, as a recruitment officer and assist him in several other things, which in some ways are quite multitasking-job. 

According to Wikipedia role is : 
"a set of connected behaviours, rights, obligations, beliefs, and norms as conceptualised by people in a social situation. It is an expected or free or continuously changing behaviour and may have a given individual social status or social position. It is vital to both functionalist and interactionist understandings of society"

So, considering the above, it is quite clear what role is all about. 

My role as mentioned above is something new to me, which need more time for me to understand the whole thing. it simply means i have to start over the whole things... i need to manage my self, how to cope with it.. Extra responsibilities (Based on business dictionary, responsibility is A duty or obligation to satisfactorily perform or complete a task (assigned by someone, or created by one's own promise or circumstances) that one must fulfill, and which has a consequent penalty for failure) for who i am now..

The moving process is not easy, far than simple as i have list of people who thinks that i am not worth any penny for the new role and getting new responsibilities. Still carrying an old one, i always think that it is the learning process.

I learn that somehow, we can try to do out utmost, and it may not be enough..
And we just have to do it once more.. I think my new boss knows that i  am trying to do my utmost, and if i do it wrongly I will go straight to him, confess and try to do better.

Got my ears chews , and my only goal is how to get things done in a right way. Seems that under him i got even more focus at work.. Extra hours for sure, but i find my self challenged for something new.. I found list of what m KPI is.. I even have schedule for one week long..

I am exhausted, but feel challenged and I cant be challenged.. i have to finish what i started.. at least this is a good opportunity for me to jump and learn something new.

I found obstacles, testpackers, unpleasant comments, but I put all of them aside. .

I learn that when we are trying hard to move forwards, this might have create instability to other people who are connected to us in some ways.. And until they find their balance, inconvenience exist .
That is when i have choose, whether to stay or find my new balance.. to move on,, And of course.. I choose to move forward, whatever it takes... What relieve me is when hubby support me fully... And again.. i remember QS 55 : 13 - Fabbi ayyi a'laa irabbikumaa tukadzzibaan...

At the end..

I am thankful for what i have, and for what i am

Matur suwun sanget, gusti Allah, for all the blessings..

#jatisari, 31st Jan 2015
in my sweet bed 

When a mother, its not just a 'mother'...

Dear Readers,

Its been a while for me being a silent reader for this endless topic..
A working mom.. is it an option or a choice? or Neither one of them?

Let see it from different angles, ladies..

First of all, being a mother.. is not easy..
Its far from being easy.. It carries big responsibilities, from the day you are carrying the fetus inside.
Things change... Priorities change... even the person change...

For working mom, its even worse.. Time management is essential.. so much until sometimes, you forget to have time for yourself.. You forget the fact that you are having a -centre of your universe to be- in which make you even a lot more special than before.. So, having this Gift from God, means that you have to treat yourself better than before..  

For some of you, working is more than just to have your self esteem.. it is more than that.. you might need to make your living.. maybe, your spouse just didnt make it enough for you to reach a proper lifestyle. I have to stay proper, since the standard is different for every house. Or, you might have set your own goal in life.. and you need to work harder to achieve it... as i mentioned, not everyone has a privilege to be a stay-at-home mom.. 

Some might able to say.. Well you can try to work from home as free consultant, member of Multi Level Marketing, having an online shop, and the list are adding up... 

But, its not easy as well..              

Let me tell you something, Parenting is not something that you pick up from nowhere.. It is earn.. its an option as well.. Being a mother is always a full-time job.. doesnt really matter whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom. You are still a mother whether you are there or not.. There are advantages and disadvantages for every position you are in..  Quality of parenting is not a relative measure.. It doesnt mean when you are growing up with a working-mom, you'll be worse than the other who grow-up with a stay-at-home mom, just because there are more constraints of time. 

I dont know about you, but for me, living in a male-dominated-world,I always believe that there are risk that you take for everything. So, whether you are a working-mom or stay-at-home mom, both are highly respected career. I must say, HIGHLY RESPECTED, as not everyone is gifted to experience as a mother. And there are no such standard, on how you can be called as a good mother.. this is for real.. 

All of us, are trying hard to raise them rite, according to our standard. 
That is why, we have to choose, we have to decide, we have to try harder on how to work things out.. Sometimes, we even have sacrifices to reach our goal, and none of us really care about it. Because as a mother, we all have the same purpose.. to bring our children, raise them well enough, set them ready to face the world.. 

My writings will not be judgmental, on whether you are a working mom or stay-at-home mom. Both are moms, and none of us have the rights to make any negative comments about it.. I mean it.. 

Seriously.. i think we should stand together, hand-in-hand, realizing that we, mothers of the next generation have the same purpose, to raise them well, so they can create a better world.. 

I believe that we already got headache with lots of things, and we shouldnt add some more in our head... 

Stop judging, help others when you are able to do so.. After all, we are have the same purpose, rite... Why should be make a fuss in a little things and forgetting the bigger picture? 

Its not easy being a working mom (trust me, i am a working mom.. ); and I know that being a stay-at-home mom, is not easy as well.. 

So, i respect both, and i hope everyone else do too.. 


Nitey-nitey, everyone.. 

#written as part of my concern of an endless silly discussions
18 jan 2015






                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

The bosses - some (not too) short stories...

Dear Readers,

Setelah beberapa postingan mengharu biru tentang departures and departures, yang mana hal itu masih berlanjut sampai sekarang... #hikz...

Tapi sekarang.... ijinkan saya mengupas beberapa orang yang untuk saya masuk dalam urutan - The Bosses.. Yes, the bosses, alias para atasan..

Tentu saja, sejalan waktu, saya tidak bisa memuat semuanya.. to be frank.. Those who meant a lot to me, in a way that even though i am no longer work with them, they cross my mind from time to time..

Well, let me start from the beginning :

1. RR Graham

He is my direct Supervisor who happens to be Head of Virology Department at US NAMRU - 2 .
Iya,.. diawal karir, emang saya kerja di US NAMRU (Naval Medical Research Unit), iya.. yang sekarang dibekukan itu lho.. (abaikan sinisme saya.. ) It might be because i love that place so much..more that any other can understand.. dan jangan berani pertanyakan nasionalisme saya ya.. :) .. as None has the rights to do so..

Well, kembali ke bahasan awal. Dr G, begitu panggilan sayang saya ke beliau.. He is the first boss who taught me that you have to fight on what you believe.. that skills are earns, as its never given...
Sebagai anak bawang.. saya memulai dari awal banget.. as I start as a data entry..

Iya, saya, yang lulusan D1 jurusan Public Relation, tetiba harus kutak katik data.. well.. data base - dan pada waktu itu program yang digunakan adalah Paradox.. sementara, pengetahuan komputer saya ya basic banget...

And, you wont believe what he did - He brought me like a pile of books - all in English.. Remember that at that time i was just 18 years old.. with my basic ability to speak, read and write in English :D ..
And of course, as always, I am a fighter.. I bought my dictionaries, read more, read the manual of the program, spend at least 9 hours a day .. and I did it..

At the beginning, I express my concern to him... how i found some difficulties in doing the task he gave me, but again he said... skills... are earn.. even if you have to struggle to understand.. spend extra hours, just do it..

Dan saya nunut apa kata babe itu.. ketimbang kualat #eh ...
Maksudnya.. ya emang bener sih yang diomong...

Ok - to cut the story short, i managed to follow his instruction, doing this and that.. wes opo ae dikerja'ke.. sing penting halal dannnn... Stay with him for 1,5 years...  During my tenure, he took me to assist DB projects in Yogya.. and to be frank.. until now.. its uncomparable..

Spending two weeks on your own.. while you are single in Jogja is really irreplaceable... disitu saya beneran jatuh cinta sama jogja.... Its like i belong to that place..  (now im back to years ago... :) ..)

So, we are moving on to my 2nd boss - one of the my most fave men on earth..

2. His name is Torstein Hallaraker.. Yes, he is scandinavian, the Vikings - came from Norway or more exact place..

I was introduced to him by my colleagues at N2. He need to have a Junior Secretary in his humble office. Funny things, when i first met him, i can see how a sincere person he is. The look, the attitude even the way he speaks all represent goodness in a person...

I know that it seems that i worship him.. Well, its not that.. far from that.. Its like im pretty amazed on the trust that he gave to me.. a young, nobody, very junior person.... and i appreciate it.

He taught me how to be me.. he put a strong foundation, along with some other people..
He shows integrity and how to be a real person.. never fake never took parts in bad things, and what i amazed is how he shows his tolerance with other people from many nationalities. He taught me from drafting a letter, conducting meetings until how to do "basa-basi" in some luncheon... He introduced me to high level personnels, bring me to important meetings... and he taught me how to be me.. how to be a sincere person.. and lots of things which are beyond words.

Back in 98, he actually plan to resign from his post in Indonesia. Well, in 1998, you know how hot Jakarta was..

So in May 98, where riots start in Jakarta, i was fled (yess, im using the hard word) to his place in Kemang.. where he shares the town house with my ex colleague from N-2.. Where my ex colleagues lend me some clothes and money as well - just to ensure that i have enough supply... I cant express how i felt with words , considering whats going on that time.

To cut the story short, we keep our relationship as it is until now. Last time i met him was in Surabaya, 10 years ago... (how time flies), where he look exactly like last time before i met him....
Still firm when i shake his hand,  and last news is that he is still conducting some training in Surabaya..

The third boss that gave good impact to me is my previous Director Hans Glipman. After Tor's departure, and having so many people coming in and out as my boss, apparently he's the first person i encounter whom i can speak freely, and off course in a good manner too.

He start his tenure in late 2010 and left at a sudden, early May last year. His departure is surely miss.. He is the one who introduce us how to do things in mannered..  If i may say, not that the rest didnt have manner, but he surely has given good example, ensure that everyone respect each other, even teach some high levels how to communicate effectively, and off course in a good mannered...

I found him a good leader, in a way that he can be quite firm yet, also very easy to be understood - in which i found with TH before. It is so funny how i can easily knock on his door, and even call him before he call me, from time to time. So, when some people are questioning about our relationship, its purely friendship and colleagues... And i enjoy it a lot..

To be frank, being straight spoken, a real me,  can only be practiced to both Tor and him.. he offers solution where we all in a cul-de-sac, where most bosses are saving their own asses... (thank goodness i've never encountered one like that - not my direct boss)... I enjoy friendly gestures, sincere greetings, even just sharing cookies or chocolate bars... And, im not the only one who have such a courtesy... We both believe, that is how you create a healthy work environment.. Its how you do things - hand in hand... when one problem arise, solve it, dont put it too long in a tray, dont upset the applecart, and try to speak in a very positive tone, so your counterpart will be very convenient when communicating with you..

Well, my last but not least boss is an Indonesian.. BTS - thats his nickname.. and he really is, one of his kind... SERIOUSLY..

I've never met someone with such strong, positive attitude.. Not to mentioned he is a modern muslim too.. i must say, i've never admire anyone in such way like him..

Why?

He always be able to see things clearly.. not that close, but even from the distance, he will not only use the logic, but try to see the person thoroughly..

When dealing with female employees, he was very careful, and deal with us in a very high manner, full of consideration, as he sees us as a mother, a wife and a woman in Islam, where he put as as priorities.. See the best solution according qur'an and sunnah.. even sending me inspiring morning messages...

For him, i am speechless.. He is a good colleagues, and funny boss too.. why funny? he does most of admin work which he suppose to give us.. and Now i know why he comes home aft 9 pm, most of the time.. to cover all works that he suppose to share.. #sigh..

From him, I learn less in the corporate side, but i learn how to live in a good way.. how to treat others in goodness, to think positively - all the time, again,... to be firm but managed to deliver it in such an elegant way.. He speaks very little, laugh and smile a lot.. and how you maintain a good relation to your creator,,,

The point is.. i learn a lot... the main thing that i learn from all of my dear bosses is..

Do good, not because you want to, but you need to...
they all taught me that, in a bottomline..


Well, finally i finish it..
I finally able to list down the top 4 that make me realize,, that life is full of blessings,
That no matter what, you have to do good, not because you want to, but you need to,,,
That at the end of the day, its not only the result that counts.. but process too..
That we are all, important..

Thank you for reading, everyone...
May you all have a good and nice evening..

-jatisari, 15 Jan 2015-

for all my dear bosses,
May life treats you kind,
May god give you all his blessings
May God fills you with joy and happiness, all the time..
Aamiin yaa rabbal aalamiin..