Minggu, 15 Februari 2015

Is it a Flaw? Or a blessing?

Dear readers,...

After a few serious postings - yess i labelled all work-about postings as "serious postings", now i will write about a few blessings i have in life...

I called it a blessing,while some people said, it is one of my biggest flaw..
Now, let me tell you why...

You all know how 'extrovert' i am .. i am open minded, laugh and smile a lot, straight talking.. and even though i can be super introvert in certain condition.. but.. it is easy to make friends with me. I have plenty of acquaintances,, lots of friends, and a few very very good friends.. (and yessss.. i am very picky when it comes to close friends.. )

and the blessing that i call is also one of my flaw.. it is when i care too much...
Yess, when i care too much..

At the beginning, i m  raised and  taught to care for others.. and i dont expect anything as a return. It is my habit to greet other people, starting from saying good morning, ask how are they doing, and smile to them too. For those who have met me, you all know that i really look like any other indonesian, so lots of people would feel that my face looks so familiar to them and i might remind them to any family members, friends, acquaintance or others. When we get quite close, most of the times they tell me their little secrets, one and another.. and to be frank, sometimes its a burden, but most of the time its a blessing for me.. an opportunity to look into things from different angle..

And again, i feel so blessed. However, sometimes in life, we cant make all people happy.. We cant expect others to see and understand what we do or what our intentions are...
We just cant, frankly...

In some cases i have put my limit, try to control what i feel, how I should behave, how I should react toward lots of things that doesnt seems to be right..
I have start another journey, which is not entirely me.. or correction - which is considered to be more what common - metropolis-people do..
I have try to do my utmost to become a stiff ignorant person, into things that i shouldnt put my hand into... Yes i have try to limit what i should have done long time ago..
Considering that it is one way for not upsetting the applecart..

I always think, if we can be good, why should we do bad?
It is so true that we cant save the entire universe, But, we have to try to do our utmost..
Yess.. i think i might have care too much..
Maybe... I think if i do good, it will return good...
And of course, the result will be good for others too..

But again, i dont know whether i can call it a blessing, a flaw or my plus point..
It all depends on what angle you are looking..
At the end of the day, its ours that count, isnt it..

well,, is it a flaw, or a blessing ?
You tell me.. :)

Minggu, 01 Februari 2015

Role and Responsibilities - new chapter, new beginning...

Dear Readers, 

Its been  a while for me not posting something a bit serious... 
Yes... im trying hard to cope with my new role in the office. 

I finally got challenged.. remember my previous posting here, after his successor arrive, this new guy have decided to take me in to his team.   He gave me some new role, as a recruitment officer and assist him in several other things, which in some ways are quite multitasking-job. 

According to Wikipedia role is : 
"a set of connected behavioursrightsobligations, beliefs, and norms as conceptualised by people in a social situation. It is an expected or free or continuously changing behaviour and may have a given individual social status or social position. It is vital to both functionalist and interactionist understandings of society"

So, considering the above, it is quite clear what role is all about. 

My role as mentioned above is something new to me, which need more time for me to understand the whole thing. it simply means i have to start over the whole things... i need to manage my self, how to cope with it.. Extra responsibilities (Based on business dictionary, responsibility is A duty or obligation to satisfactorily perform or complete a task (assigned by someone, or created by one's own promise or circumstances) that one must fulfill, and which has a consequent penalty for failure) for who i am now..

The moving process is not easy, far than simple as i have list of people who thinks that i am not worth any penny for the new role and getting new responsibilities. Still carrying an old one, i always think that it is the learning process.

I learn that somehow, we can try to do out utmost, and it may not be enough..
And we just have to do it once more.. I think my new boss knows that i  am trying to do my utmost, and if i do it wrongly I will go straight to him, confess and try to do better.

Got my ears chews , and my only goal is how to get things done in a right way. Seems that under him i got even more focus at work.. Extra hours for sure, but i find my self challenged for something new.. I found list of what m KPI is.. I even have schedule for one week long..

I am exhausted, but feel challenged and I cant be challenged.. i have to finish what i started.. at least this is a good opportunity for me to jump and learn something new.

I found obstacles, testpackers, unpleasant comments, but I put all of them aside. .

I learn that when we are trying hard to move forwards, this might have create instability to other people who are connected to us in some ways.. And until they find their balance, inconvenience exist .
That is when i have choose, whether to stay or find my new balance.. to move on,, And of course.. I choose to move forward, whatever it takes... What relieve me is when hubby support me fully... And again.. i remember QS 55 : 13 - Fabbi ayyi a'laa irabbikumaa tukadzzibaan...

At the end..

I am thankful for what i have, and for what i am

Matur suwun sanget, gusti Allah, for all the blessings..

#jatisari, 31st Jan 2015
in my sweet bed