Holding onto Commitments...

Dear readers,

Before you start guessing what is it that I'm going to tell you.. Let me start by saying thank you to a dear friend and my life partner who always inspire me to write..

I always love to meet old friends, acquaintances or families . There are so many values, experiences or lessons that I learned from them.

This is inspire by one of them ..

I have a good friend - whom I've encourage to call as my best friend.

He's been married for 9 years, and have a daughter whom I adore so much..

This is his story..

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Marriage life, as we all know is never that easy nor that hard. There are ups and downs, like any other aspecs in life.

While others are debating on how and who's suppose to hold on commitment, my friend had shown me that holding into commitment is like dancing.

You might need to lead the way.. But it takes two to tango..  And if ur partner can't do it in the same rhytm, u need to step back and start all over. Do it constantly, continously, and never give up on trying to do so..

He believes that in the end, its yours that count.

Well that, my friends..

Sounds naif..

But suprisingly, this is what he has done so far..

And I found him to be calm in facing all obstacles in his married life.. Too calm maybe.. If its up to me..

But hey, who am I to judge ?

Again...

We can't set a parameter , as people has different perspective, view, or whatever you name it.  Its so true that happiness comes from within... But its even truer that happiness varies among people.

So, what seems to be naif, might be the right formula for some people.. what seems to be almost impossible, can easily be possible for others..

Hearing his stories, reminds me of my first 5th years of marriage,, when i continously upsetting the apple carts, let all apples tumbling down and egoistic enough not taking and putting them back in place.. 

I keep trying to be defensif, see things from my point of view, and care less about it.. 

#sigh.. 

And it brought me nowhere.. 

n o w h e r e... 

Its always my fault agains his fault...
Its pointing fingers without even trying to see the reality
It was - as if i was doing this, you'll be doing that..
It was the most egocentric moment of "I RULE" !!! 

I was so lucky.. when hubby leads the first action.. withdrawing himself from endless misunderstanding.
And what did i do?
Following him, off course.

At that time, I was very jumpy and confuse ..
Its like the 5 years - never ending disagreement i had, when i had no clue on what is going on.. When i refuse to lay back, stepping back and try to see things clearly.

and that, my friend.. what i call egocentric.. when i still see things with my own eyes, without considering others.

The goal was to found out who made the biggest mistakes, stupid comments..
Never looking for solutions nor compromising..

Until one day..
Both of us realize.. that we were not going anywhere...

We decided to stop.. holding hands.. compromising.
Putting our ego back in our pandora box.. and think about these two little cherries of ours..

And..

after a few storms and thundering nights..
We started to see some rainbows of ours..
We started to realize.. that sometimes, even as life partner, we see things in a different point of view..
Sometimes, we just see things differently, because we are two different human being, which have decided, commited to share, compromise, and accept each other..

Good relationships consist of endless discussion, hardworking, and goodwill.
And you cant make it happen in one night.. FOR SURE..

So, dear friends..

Now, I decided to see things not from one angle.. but from different point of view..
I've decided to bow more.. think more and trying not to judge things easily..
Im trying hard to listen more... and speak out clearly - NOT loudly..
I learn from my dear friend.. that sometimes, when we have to give a full trust.. just give it without thinking..
Again.. its ours that counts..

Its your willingness.. your integrity... your goodwill.. its yours..
When you are giving him a space, you'll get your own space.. Whether you have it now.. or later..
It is as certain as sun rise and sun sets

Life,
Treats me kind..
God..
Gave me a firm, loving spouse..
Who loves me dearly.. and see my flaws transparently.. but still accept me as it is..

Now..
I'm closing my writings with some prayer.. to you..

May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

-Slipi, 27 June 2014-