Holding onto Commitments...

Dear readers,

Before you start guessing what is it that I'm going to tell you.. Let me start by saying thank you to a dear friend and my life partner who always inspire me to write..

I always love to meet old friends, acquaintances or families . There are so many values, experiences or lessons that I learned from them.

This is inspire by one of them ..

I have a good friend - whom I've encourage to call as my best friend.

He's been married for 9 years, and have a daughter whom I adore so much..

This is his story..

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Marriage life, as we all know is never that easy nor that hard. There are ups and downs, like any other aspecs in life.

While others are debating on how and who's suppose to hold on commitment, my friend had shown me that holding into commitment is like dancing.

You might need to lead the way.. But it takes two to tango..  And if ur partner can't do it in the same rhytm, u need to step back and start all over. Do it constantly, continously, and never give up on trying to do so..

He believes that in the end, its yours that count.

Well that, my friends..

Sounds naif..

But suprisingly, this is what he has done so far..

And I found him to be calm in facing all obstacles in his married life.. Too calm maybe.. If its up to me..

But hey, who am I to judge ?

Again...

We can't set a parameter , as people has different perspective, view, or whatever you name it.  Its so true that happiness comes from within... But its even truer that happiness varies among people.

So, what seems to be naif, might be the right formula for some people.. what seems to be almost impossible, can easily be possible for others..

Hearing his stories, reminds me of my first 5th years of marriage,, when i continously upsetting the apple carts, let all apples tumbling down and egoistic enough not taking and putting them back in place.. 

I keep trying to be defensif, see things from my point of view, and care less about it.. 

#sigh.. 

And it brought me nowhere.. 

n o w h e r e... 

Its always my fault agains his fault...
Its pointing fingers without even trying to see the reality
It was - as if i was doing this, you'll be doing that..
It was the most egocentric moment of "I RULE" !!! 

I was so lucky.. when hubby leads the first action.. withdrawing himself from endless misunderstanding.
And what did i do?
Following him, off course.

At that time, I was very jumpy and confuse ..
Its like the 5 years - never ending disagreement i had, when i had no clue on what is going on.. When i refuse to lay back, stepping back and try to see things clearly.

and that, my friend.. what i call egocentric.. when i still see things with my own eyes, without considering others.

The goal was to found out who made the biggest mistakes, stupid comments..
Never looking for solutions nor compromising..

Until one day..
Both of us realize.. that we were not going anywhere...

We decided to stop.. holding hands.. compromising.
Putting our ego back in our pandora box.. and think about these two little cherries of ours..

And..

after a few storms and thundering nights..
We started to see some rainbows of ours..
We started to realize.. that sometimes, even as life partner, we see things in a different point of view..
Sometimes, we just see things differently, because we are two different human being, which have decided, commited to share, compromise, and accept each other..

Good relationships consist of endless discussion, hardworking, and goodwill.
And you cant make it happen in one night.. FOR SURE..

So, dear friends..

Now, I decided to see things not from one angle.. but from different point of view..
I've decided to bow more.. think more and trying not to judge things easily..
Im trying hard to listen more... and speak out clearly - NOT loudly..
I learn from my dear friend.. that sometimes, when we have to give a full trust.. just give it without thinking..
Again.. its ours that counts..

Its your willingness.. your integrity... your goodwill.. its yours..
When you are giving him a space, you'll get your own space.. Whether you have it now.. or later..
It is as certain as sun rise and sun sets

Life,
Treats me kind..
God..
Gave me a firm, loving spouse..
Who loves me dearly.. and see my flaws transparently.. but still accept me as it is..

Now..
I'm closing my writings with some prayer.. to you..

May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

-Slipi, 27 June 2014-

When our daughter turn into my best friend..

Dearest princess...

As years go by.. I can't hardly believe that u're turning 8 and will be on the 3rD grade soon..

I still remember how we were rushing to the hospital and had to go for a  surgery when u're just 8 months inside me.. All the pain was nothing than seeing u for the first time.. Your eyes, eye lashes, rosey cheeks are our endless discussion, until now.. 

And now, you are much more than just a daughter. You are my hand to hold, my psychologist, my best friend, a life-time teacher and partner..

We share tears and laughters, we were partner in crime from time to time, a debate partner - Yess, a helluva tough debate partner....

Being our daughter, you inherit ur father stubbornness and my straight spoken habit. Not a favorite combination, but will surely usefull someday.. :)

I admire your willingness to help me during our 'cooking' moment.. I adore your pretty glance, smiley yet comforting when i just had a rough day at work.. I love your massaging hand, everytime you are trying to amuse me by doing so.. 

Dearest, 

Thank you for everything.. 

Thank you for your understanding.. for all patience that you had,, having me as a so-so mother.. 

Thank you for holding my hand.. sharing your hugs, endless discussion about what, where and when.. 

And off course,.. and endless debate on how i love you.. and why.. 

I have no reason NOT to love you accross the galaxy.. 

always so proud of having you as my daughter.. 

May allah bless your life.. 

Happy milad Putri Shaliha kami tersayang.. 

We love you and pray for you.. all the time.. endlessly.. 

-xoxo- 

At the end.. 

Tapestry.. one short story

There are times,

When I feel like mocking up a boring tapestry 

Yes, a tapestry ..

That suppose to represent diversity - contains lots of colors, patterns and probably textures..

I am so bored mocking up

Prentending how beautiful it is

While it content nothing but a boring pattern

So predictable 

So  usual 

No suprises 

Nothing 

Its a piece of clothing that represent nothing

Like it does not require to be called as tapestry 

But then , 

I stunned 

I remember 

A tapestry .. 

Is far from just a mixture from all sources...

The process itself,

Determine the calling

All ups and downs ..

All feelings

The mixups 

And I'm happy.. 

The clothing turns out to be 

a beautiful tapestry

That contains more than just threads and scenery.. 

Happy Milad, Pelita Hati..

Anak lanang kami tersayang...

Hari ini, tepat 7 tahun usiamu. Tidak percaya rasanya bahwa kita sudah melewati puluhan purnama, ribuan hari yang tiap detiknya selalu penuh makna.

Sulit untuk percaya, kalau engkau, putra kami tersayang, sudah melengkapi hidup kami, memberikan warna, mengajarkan kami untuk selalu tetap besyukur dalam setiap peristiwa.

Bunda masih ingat saat beberapa minggu lalu, terbangun di sabtu pagi. Merasakan ada tangan kecil yang menyelimuti, memastikan tidur ku tidak terganggu, bahkan memastikan bahwa ibun tidak demam karena bangun siang..

Hal-hal kecil yg seringkali dilakukan, dan membuat kami terperangah atas seluruh ide yang terlontar dari mulut mungilmu nak.. Termasuk saat engkau meminta lantunan ayat2 suci sebagai pengantar tidurmu, ketimbang lagu-lagu populer yg sebelumnya akrab di telinga kami.. Dan kejutan luar biasa saat berani tampil mewakili sekolah dalam tahfidz qur'an baru-baru ini. Hal yang sebenarnya, jauh tidak pernah kami bayangkan.. (Soo proud of you, boy.. )

Putra kami tersayang, terima kasih telah menemani kami, menjadi kesayangan ayah ibunda, penenang hati ibun serta. Anak yang selalu kami banggakan.

Maafkan keterbatasan kami sebagai orang tua ... Percayalah nak, ayah dan dan bunda selalu berusaha memberikan yang terbaik bagi kalian..

Doa kami senantiasa, agar Allah memudahkan jalanmu, melimpahkan rahmat dan hidayahNya..

Tetap jadi anak shaleh ya nak...

We love you accross the universe and back... 

Going Veggie.. - resep tumis sayuran mudah cepat

Helloo.. 

Selamat tengah minggu, teman-teman tersayang... 

Di minggu yang penuh hari kejepit ini, kemarin saya sibuk bebersih lemari es, sebelum memutuskan untuk berbelanja lagi. 

Seperti biasa, saat ibunda di rumah, maka wajib memasak untuk keluarga dong ya.. 

Kali ini, saya melihat di lemari es ada beberapa buah cuciwis, jamur kuping, jamur hioko kering (yang segera saya rebus - kurleb 30 menit agar lunak), 2 batang wortel dan seikat buncis. 

Longok freezer, ada 2 sdm dging cincang.. 

Nah.. to make a long story short, dan dikejar waktu makan siang.. we decided to make - an easy yet mouth-watering stir-fry veggie.. 

Resepnya sebagai berikut : 

Bahan-bahan : 

2 batang wortel - kupas kulit - potong julienne (korek api)

4 buah cuciwis - lepas per lembar

7 batang buncis - potong kurleb 1 cm

4 lembar jamur kuping - iris 

1 batang daun bawang - potong 2 cm

6 jamur hioko kering - rebus dengan 500 ml air sampai lunak - iris halus

2 siung bawang putih - cincang

3 siung bawang merah - iris tipis

2 sdm daging cincang

1 sdm kecap asin

1 sdm saus tiram

1 sdt gula

1/4 sdt lada 

2 sdm minyak

1 sdm margarine 

1 sdt minyak wijen

Cara membuatnya : 

1. Panaskan minyak, masukkan margarine

2. Tumis bawang merah dan bawang putih sampai harum, masukkan daun bawang.. 

3. Masukkan daging cincang - aduk sesekali 

4. Masukkan jamur hioko - tambahkan saus tiram dan kecap asin, lalu 1 cangkir air - biarkan air menyusut

5. Tambahkan wortel, lalu diikuti dengan buncis dan jamur kuping

6. Koreksi rasa dengan menambahkan garam, gula serta lada. 

7. Matikan api, tambahkan minyak wijen, aduk, angkat. 

Voilaaa... 

It is a complete dish - all there.. 

Silahkan dicoba.. resepnya insya Allah akurat.. :) 

Buon Apetito, everyone.. 

Satu lagi tentang Co-Worker

Dear Readers,

Sebagai follow-up dari tulisan sebelumnya, saya merasa perlu memaparkan berapa banyak pelajaran yang saya petik dari beliau selama 3,5 tahun menjadi Co-Worker.

Kalau mau jujur, saya bukan siapa-siapa di dalam perusahaan. Dari sisi grade-pun jauh dengan beliau yang seorang Director. Namun mengingat salah satu scope pekerjaan saya adalah -assisting Leadership Team dan perijinan tenaga kerja Asing, otomatis komunikasi dan kerjasama yang kami lakukan sangat intens.

Satu hal yang saya kagumi, adalah ketika saya bisa dengan santai, menggunakan bahasa yang apik, menyampaikan beragam keberatan jika dirasa perlu. Not Once he scolded me. NOT Once.
If he disagrees, it will be told in a perfect manner.

Banyaknya kebijakan yang kurang populer, meskipun bukan beliau yang memutuskan juga mampu disampaikan dalam bahasa yang halus. Disini saya belajar bahwa komunikasi memang perlu disampaikan dengan cara-cara yang sesuai.

Beliau, juga beberapa orang di perusahaan mengajarkan kepada saya, bagaimana menjadi seorang Co-Worker yang baik. Berkomunikasi dengan semestinya, menempatkan professionalitas tanpa melupakan tanggung jawab pribadi maupun Norma yang dianut.. sekaligus mencoba melihat dari banyak sisi berbeda..
Hmm.. banyak banget memang ya..

Intinya begini..

Being a good Co Worker means that you are able to see things through several angles..
Setting up priorities and able to communicate your friends flaws in a good manner, good languange..
People make mistakes, and better to tell them nicely instead of talk about it from the back..
Never take everything for granted.. Everything is there for a reason..
What ur co worker think about you, is none of your business.. Its yours that count..
People who talk to you from your back tells you exactly their position.. on your back..

Sometimes, I wonder what experience he had, so he can share most of the attitude with me..
Its a simple hello, a smiley request.. endless discussion about family and friends.. and lots matter

Hal-hal yang membuat saya berfikir ratusan kali saat mulut sudah mulai ingin berkata-kata tak pantas.. Yang serta merta bisa saya antisipasi dengan pertanyaan mudah:..

Does it really worth? To speak harshly? Will the person get your point? Does she willing to understand?

Iya..

Saya dengan segala keterbatasan saya, kadang memaksakan diri untuk mencoba mengerti sudut pandang yang digunakan saat harus bekerjasama dan selalu mendapat hasil yang jauh dari maksimal.
Feedback yang jarang sekali positif membuat saya berfikir ulang..

What kind of live that the person has been thru?
Does she think backward? How can I make her see the responsibilities that she's carrying?

Lalu..

Saya sampai pada satu kesimpulan.. I forget one thing..

It Takes Two to Tango..
Saya laiknya menggarami laut jika harus berjalan dengan satu kaki..

Pada akhirnya, saya hanya bisa belajar menjadi Co Worker yang baik bagi orang lain, tentu saja tanpa bisa mengharap hal yang sama..

At the end of the day.. its ours that count..

Well.. TQ dear boss.. atas seluruh pelajaran yang diberikan..
Semoga saja saya bisa jadi seorang Co-Worker yang baik.. sebagaimana yang selama ini telah dicontohkan..

When the BIG guy leave our stage..

Dearest Readers..

Its not that im that bored in the office.. its not that i have nothing else to do.. NO..
But.. I lost my boss yesterday..

Bukan.. bukan ilang karena metong, tenggelem ato apah..

But, he resigned from his current post..
In one day..

Suprised, shocked, and whatever feeling that you can named..

Been working with him for almost 3.5 years.. so when i found out the bad news its not from anyone, but the gesture he gave me.. The look and the ambience that i felt..

I know it sounds silly, but when you work closely with someone, you get some funny feelings when something was not in its place.

Until now, I've worked with lots of expats and bosses, and yet find Hans very sincere, whole-hearted, yet speak the truth. I can easily say No, when its a Big No, and Yes when its safe enough for her to cross the road.

So, when at the sudden He left the stage, we were stunned.

Since there's no way i can figure this out.. What i can say now is..

Bon Voyage Boss..
Another ocean another vessel..
We will see you later..

Thank you for everything that you've done for us..
You will surely be missed...